NOOO!! SUPER MOON CRISIS POWER?!

WARNING: this rant is full of anger and rage. Be prepared, this rant is NOT pretty.

I have seen utter horror and destruction. I have witnessed the death of 3 beautiful soldiers. I have heard the sickening voices of the underworld. Where have I come across such wrongful doings? Noneother than the Sailor Moon Super Dubbed Movie.

Yes, here comes that rant that I bet I would be writing sometime in the future. I have witnessed the atrocities done to the SMS movie. I downloaded some clips from this movie...and I have not been very cheerful since. In fact, I was screaming bloody murder at my friend. He and I shared our tears and anger over this...this piece of moon crap. Oh, you ask "what did they do to this movie that was so bad?" Well i'll tell you...Yep, here comes the allmighty list:

10) As in the SMR movie, all original dialog and music was gone.

9) The pronunciation of the japanese names...If Optimum (the company who dubbed the movies) had to pronounce these names to save their lives, they would die on the spot. Let's move to SerenityMoon's lesson on how to pronounce names, shall we? Those working for Optimum might want to listen good.

Kakeru-pronounced Kah-keh-ru (NOT a hard "roo", r's are not pronounced hard in Japanese. They sound like l's). It is NOT pronounced Ka-Ka-Roo, as DiC Luna kept saying (la cucaracha, la cucaracha..)

Himeko-pronounced Hee-meh-ko. NOT Hemmey-ko, Luna!!

Kaguya-pronounced Ka-guy-wa. NOT Ka-goo-ya (yes, this is actually how they had it pronounced).

When I heard they were keeping these names, I thought "oh great!"..but when I heard them being said, I thought twice.

"Kagooya!! AAAHAHAHAHA...Heh..heh..*ahem*"

8) The voices. Oh great moon goddess, the voices. Michiru's voice actor was..prepare yourself..DiC Serena's mother. yes, her mother. I almost went into cardiac arrest. Haruka sounded like this little feminine girl, and Setsuna was suddenly turned into a 15 year old with a teeny bopper valley girl voice. Our solemn, beautiful Setsuna. *wipes a tear away*

"So...are you my mother or are you Michiru?"
"I don't know, dear...I just don't know"

"NEPTUNE DEEP SUB....wait a minute! ! Serena did you do your homework?!....oh wait, wrong character..." "Nani!? What have they done to my voice?! My strong, determined voice! GRR WORLD SHAKING!!"

7) The attacks. "Crisis Makeup" became "Super Moon Crisis Power"..."Rainbow Moon Heartache" became "Rainbow Moon Heart Ache Reform"..ok where the heck did they get reform? She's not reforming them!! she's destroying them!! oy vey...*rubs head and pops some tylenol* The outers' attacks were also changed.

6) The snow dancers sounded like barking chihuahuas. Enough said. Let's move on, shall we?

"BOW WOW WOW YIP GRR BARK!!"

5) Luna, even when turned into a beautiful human, had the worst british old lady voice. It honestly sounded worse than the one in the DiC dub. How is it that a teenage girl can have this voice??

"Wait.. I'm confused...Why am I British?"

4) Luna's crying sounded like a cat having a seizure. Enough said. Next, please?

"MRRROWWW WOWORRORWOWOWWOR MRRRR WORR WORORWWMRR"
"Someone help my cat!! *sob* What's wrong with her?!"

3) They changed "Sugar Stars" to "Star Flakes"..now I know this isn't that big of a deal, but...what was the point of changing it?? Sugar Stars (which are little candies that kakeru gives to luna...there's a story that if you eat one and make a wish, you'll meet princess kaguya) sounded so cute..star flakes sounds like a name for a cereal...*sniff* sugar star is one of my nicknames for my sweety...

2)Two Words: Mini Moon. The wonderful name picked out for Sailor Chibimoon. It makes me think of a certain mouse...

"GASP!!! Sailor Mini Moon!? This wasn't in my contract!!"

1) PLUTO DEADLY SCREAM!! .....NANI?! as in..WHAT?! Sailor Pluto does not scream her attack. She very quietly whispers "Deado...Scream.." so mysteriously...and they made her scream it with that sickening valley girl voice *shudder* oh the hellish deeds...

"You want Deadly Scream?! I'll GIVE you deadly scream!!!"

There you go. Chances are, if you love the SMS movie as much as I do, you're cursing or yelling at Optimum right now. Doesn't it feel good? Thus ends my night of rage. I beg you... please..please avoid buying this tape at all costs if you are a fan of the original. It will destroy you, as it did me. I only hope that what I have witnessed is, as my friend quoted, "not foreshadowing what the series will be dubbed like"...I leave you with these thoughts.

~Written by SerenityMoon, as dictated to Hino Rei

If you would like to listen to these clips, you may go here to download them. Be afraid, be very afraid.

My good friend Bethchan made this wonderfully hilarious poster for me. Just perfect for my rant, ne? Her site is in the links..check it out!

Note: The quotes (next to the graphics) are not directed to or meant to offend anyone. They were for humor only. Any comments may be sent to me, Hino Rei .I accept either positive or negative comments, but if you flame me, be warned that I will simply block your email address, and post your humiliation for all to see.

Back~Akuryo Taisan~

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